Anger – What’s that all about?

Do you slam down the phone in work when you do not get your own way in a conversation?

Have you gotten into a shouting match with a stranger over a parking space?

Ever thrown your phone at the wall during an argument with your spouse?

If so, then you really need to learn some anger management skills…

Anger is a natural emotion; though it’s something that we need to keep in check.

Instead of expressing your anger in a healthy and assertive way, if you’re breaking things and scaring people then you’re expressing it in a hostile, aggressive and even a violent manner.  That’s not good!

In fact, that’s bad! 

Uncontrolled anger can lead to all sorts of problems in your life, with family, friends, colleagues, and worst of all your relationship with yourself.

Although for a fleeting moment you may derive satisfaction from letting off steam, the feelings of shame you can be left with when the anger finally subsides and you realise how you have hurt the people around you, and broken things that can’t be repaired, can be hard to deal with.

It is not someone else’s fault if you lose your temper, no matter how annoying they seem!     

If you are consistently flying off the handle then the problem most likely lies with you, I’m afraid.  And you’re the only one who can fix it.

People can tip-toe around you and try not to make you fly off the handle…but why should they?

You should be able to conduct yourself in a respectful and courteous manner and other people should be able to be themselves and not be worried about setting you off in a tirade of abuse.  Don’t you think?

If you have decided you have had enough, and need to get a grip on this problem once and for all, it is extremely important to plan and form techniques to assist in dealing with this issue.

Empowerment is the key in better managing anger, this means making constructive choices about your behaviour instead of just responding impulsively.

So what is anger?

Well, it’s a very natural emotion and at times is a very valid response to what you are perceiving in your environment.  Being angry is not always wrong, in fact it is often very much ok.  Though, how you express those angry feelings is all important.

Being able to control what you do and what you say when you are experiencing day to day problems is very important.

If you are finding that you fly off the handle and make people not want to be around you, then you have to start doing some soul searching to find out what’s going on inside you and also to learn how to modify your behaviour.

You can learn to control your anger! 

Don’t think that it is something outside of your control, because it isn’t.

The first important step is realising that you have a problem, the second is wanting to fix the problem and change your behaviour.

If you’ve done this, then you’ve already started your journey.

Being in denial about your anger problem is doing nobody any good and being defensive towards your loved ones when they try to discuss it won’t help either.

Facing your angry behaviours head on is courageous and you can achieve a more peaceful life by doing this.

This is the first post on  I intend to write many more and I hope you can gain some useful techniques and (dare I say it) inspiration along the way.

Please use the rest of this website to help you determine where to go from here.  A good place to start is the free 8 point plan for anger control.

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