Avoid Anger: Accept things as they are

woman zen portraitI was driving to work this morning in heavy traffic on a dual carriageway, and a car was sitting in front of me in the over-taking lane, refusing to overtake cars in the other lane, refusing to move in and even doing far less than the speed limit.  To say I started to get annoyed is an understatement.  I could feel my stress levels rising….I was getting angry.  My mind became filled with negative talk, such as “why doesn’t that jerk just move in and let me past, don’t they know the rules of the road.  Can’t they drive. They’re useless”.  Cue road rage…

Dealing with someone who winds you up on purpose

hispanic woman pointing fingerDo you have to deal with someone who constantly winds you up?

Is every little thing you do/don’t do up for discussion and a critique by them?

Do they know they are getting to you but keep it up anyway and enjoy when you finally break and lose your temper?

Recognising the Antagonist

Understanding an Angry Person

What is it that is making someone angry or display angry behaviours?  Why do they shout, become aggressive and sometimes violent?

Controlling anger by controlling your emotions.

How many times have you decided not to lose control of your temper only to watch yourself turn into the incredible hulk;- angry, aggressive trying to find ways to unleash the awful rage that is inside you.  Furniture, objects, strangers and sometimes the people you love are on the receiving end.  You end up so angry, you feel filled with hate and as if you could take revenge on someone without remorse.  Except…that’s not how you really feel.  When you’ve calmed down and are back to your normal self, you can feel guilty and embarrassed by your behaviour and the thoughts you had.  You may also find yourself having to apologise and see the look of disapproval and blame in someone else’s eyes.  How great would it be if we could by-pass all of that negativity and never have to go through, or put anyone else through, all of that.

8 Point Plan for Controlling Anger

1. Recognising Stress
Recognising that stress is a major contributor and underlying cause of anger is an important first step. Learning how to reduce stress in your life will inevitably lead to less anger. How can you reduce stress? Well first you must identify what areas of your life are causing you stress from there it is a matter of working out how to minimise it. Stress is when a person perceives that the pressures or demands they are experiencing exceed their ability to cope.  Often stress creeps up on us, it is one thing piled on top of another and often we don’t even recognise that it is stress and we just end up feeling ill or having very sharp tempers with others.

Anger – What’s that all about?

Do you slam down the phone in work when you do not get your own way in a conversation?

Have you gotten into a shouting match with a stranger over a parking space?

Ever thrown your phone at the wall during an argument with your spouse?

If so, then you really need to learn some anger management skills…

Anger is a natural emotion; though it’s something that we need to keep in check.

Instead of expressing your anger in a healthy and assertive way, if you’re breaking things and scaring people then you’re expressing it in a hostile, aggressive and even a violent manner.  That’s not good!