Book Review: The Power of your Subconscious Mind

Title:The Power of your Subconscious Mind
Author: Dr. Joseph Murphy

More than any other book I have every read, this one affected me in a deep way.  I passed it to friends some years ago and they were amazed.  They then passed it on to others and so on…yes its one of those books, very powerful and it makes an impression.

The reason I’m reviewing it for this site is that the techniques listed within it can really help you to form new ways of thinking and behaving and which if you have a problem with anger that you want to fix, is something you really need to do.

Are you a bully in your home?

Bully

Do you try to control, manipulate or force others to behave and do what you want?  Or do you try to control every aspect of your environment from the placement of ornaments in the livingroom to how often the heating is put on?  What happens when these things do not happen the way you want?  Do you calmly accept life as it happens or do you explode in anger, shout, throw things, bang doors and act aggressively and hostile?  Do you tower over your family with wild eyes and point your finger at them to make them cower before you?  If you do then you’re a bully!

Avoid Anger: Accept things as they are

woman zen portraitI was driving to work this morning in heavy traffic on a dual carriageway, and a car was sitting in front of me in the over-taking lane, refusing to overtake cars in the other lane, refusing to move in and even doing far less than the speed limit.  To say I started to get annoyed is an understatement.  I could feel my stress levels rising….I was getting angry.  My mind became filled with negative talk, such as “why doesn’t that jerk just move in and let me past, don’t they know the rules of the road.  Can’t they drive. They’re useless”.  Cue road rage…

Dealing with someone who winds you up on purpose

hispanic woman pointing fingerDo you have to deal with someone who constantly winds you up?

Is every little thing you do/don’t do up for discussion and a critique by them?

Do they know they are getting to you but keep it up anyway and enjoy when you finally break and lose your temper?

Recognising the Antagonist

Do you know what makes you angry?

Do you know what makes you angry?

Does someone else cause you to get angry?  Are you entitled to take your rage out on whomever and whatever is around?

If you’re like a lot of people then perhaps you don’t even know why you get so mad…and so quickly too.  The sad fact is that it is not down to anybody else.  It’s only down to you.  If someone else could ‘make’ you get angry then they would also have the power to turn your anger off.  They can’t though, all they can do is either appease you or leave you.

Never Apologising – Even when you’re wrong

Apologising is a tool for reconciliation.  It is used by people who want to maintain, fix and continue with important relationships in their lives.  Never apologising has some important facets.  First is the inability of the person in the wrong to look at their own behaviour and find fault, no matter how small the fault may be and decide that they don’t like that behaviour and so want to change it. Second is being unable to realise that someone important to you in whatever way, was hurt by your actions/words and that now the important relationship has been damaged.

Understanding an Angry Person

What is it that is making someone angry or display angry behaviours?  Why do they shout, become aggressive and sometimes violent?

Controlling anger by controlling your emotions.

How many times have you decided not to lose control of your temper only to watch yourself turn into the incredible hulk;- angry, aggressive trying to find ways to unleash the awful rage that is inside you.  Furniture, objects, strangers and sometimes the people you love are on the receiving end.  You end up so angry, you feel filled with hate and as if you could take revenge on someone without remorse.  Except…that’s not how you really feel.  When you’ve calmed down and are back to your normal self, you can feel guilty and embarrassed by your behaviour and the thoughts you had.  You may also find yourself having to apologise and see the look of disapproval and blame in someone else’s eyes.  How great would it be if we could by-pass all of that negativity and never have to go through, or put anyone else through, all of that.

Breaking the patterns of angry outbursts

One thing you have probably noticed in all the angry outburst and conflicts that occur is that there are patterns to them. Things might change slightly with each different instance, but in general, they will usually all play out in a similar way.  This is true for how your anger begins and then erupts.  If you try, you will probably see that certain kinds of things set you off far more quickly than others and that the emotions you feel inside are always quite similar.  Also the speed at which you lose your temper is the same.  You may notice that it takes seconds to go from calm to annoyed, and then another few seconds to get to the stages of being angry and shouting.

Communicating with others effectively

Communication, we use it every day to accomplish both simple and complex tasks.  We use it on a personal level with family, friends and work colleagues and also out in public while driving, shopping, etc,.  We learn how to get our needs met and how to function in society properly by communicating effectively with those around us.  Even though, for the most part, we are good at communicating with others, it is easy to see where misunderstandings occur.  There can be several reasons for this.