Are you a bully in your home?

Bully

Do you try to control, manipulate or force others to behave and do what you want?  Or do you try to control every aspect of your environment from the placement of ornaments in the livingroom to how often the heating is put on?  What happens when these things do not happen the way you want?  Do you calmly accept life as it happens or do you explode in anger, shout, throw things, bang doors and act aggressively and hostile?  Do you tower over your family with wild eyes and point your finger at them to make them cower before you?  If you do then you’re a bully!

Do you know what makes you angry?

Do you know what makes you angry?

Does someone else cause you to get angry?  Are you entitled to take your rage out on whomever and whatever is around?

If you’re like a lot of people then perhaps you don’t even know why you get so mad…and so quickly too.  The sad fact is that it is not down to anybody else.  It’s only down to you.  If someone else could ‘make’ you get angry then they would also have the power to turn your anger off.  They can’t though, all they can do is either appease you or leave you.

Never Apologising – Even when you’re wrong

Apologising is a tool for reconciliation.  It is used by people who want to maintain, fix and continue with important relationships in their lives.  Never apologising has some important facets.  First is the inability of the person in the wrong to look at their own behaviour and find fault, no matter how small the fault may be and decide that they don’t like that behaviour and so want to change it. Second is being unable to realise that someone important to you in whatever way, was hurt by your actions/words and that now the important relationship has been damaged.

Understanding an Angry Person

What is it that is making someone angry or display angry behaviours?  Why do they shout, become aggressive and sometimes violent?

Controlling anger by controlling your emotions.

How many times have you decided not to lose control of your temper only to watch yourself turn into the incredible hulk;- angry, aggressive trying to find ways to unleash the awful rage that is inside you.  Furniture, objects, strangers and sometimes the people you love are on the receiving end.  You end up so angry, you feel filled with hate and as if you could take revenge on someone without remorse.  Except…that’s not how you really feel.  When you’ve calmed down and are back to your normal self, you can feel guilty and embarrassed by your behaviour and the thoughts you had.  You may also find yourself having to apologise and see the look of disapproval and blame in someone else’s eyes.  How great would it be if we could by-pass all of that negativity and never have to go through, or put anyone else through, all of that.

Controlling Stress

Why are you stressed??

This is the crux of the issue, you may already know why you’re stressed and just need to find ways to deal with it but like many, maybe you have never really had the chance to analyse your life to figure out what’s causing you all this tension. If this is the case then you really need to identify ALL the stressors in your life and find out which ones are causing the problems. Bear in mind that we all have stress and in fact need a certain amount, as otherwise why would we bother getting up in the morning at all? What you are looking for here are things that are playing on your mind all the time, upsetting you and making you tense up.

Assertiveness Training

How many times has your angry outburst been because you don’t know how to say no effectively or haven’t been able to deal with a very demanding person? Maybe you put up with them continually asking you for something or letting them load you with extra work which builds up your stress levels.

Even just knowing that you let other people get the better of you can lead to built up resentments and issues of self esteem. You may hold your temper most of the time but then all of a sudden you snap and all hell breaks loose.

Hypnotherapy for Anger Control

What is hypnotherapy?

Well, it’s a therapy that brings the person to a lower state of consciousness by relaxing them and concentrating their awareness. When in this very relaxed state, the hypnotherapist can plant suggestions into your subconscious mind and so it becomes easier to change your behaviour.

During your first visit you will tell the therapist what the problem you are having is. They will ask you some questions to find out what type of situations are likely to induce the behaviour that you want to change. Your answers will be very revealing as to what type of suggestions are fed to you through the therapy session. The more honest and forthcoming you are, the more the hypnotherapist can help you.

Positive Thought Techniques for Anger Control

Have you ever heard the phrase “we are what we eat”? Well it should be “we are what we think”. Our thoughts if channelled correctly can be very powerful, for good or for bad.

It is very obvious how negative thoughts affect us. They can hold us back from being successful in our careers or any other endeavours we may dream about. You may have noticed that some people seem to naturally have the ability to do something while others hesitate, worry and tell all around them that they don’t think they will be able to do it. They put forward all kinds of reasons for this but fail to recognise that it is their own fear driven by their thought pattern that is really holding them back. The people who just get up and do things are not clouding their minds with negative thoughts and saying that they can’t, they just believe that they can.

8 Point Plan for Controlling Anger

1. Recognising Stress
Recognising that stress is a major contributor and underlying cause of anger is an important first step. Learning how to reduce stress in your life will inevitably lead to less anger. How can you reduce stress? Well first you must identify what areas of your life are causing you stress from there it is a matter of working out how to minimise it. Stress is when a person perceives that the pressures or demands they are experiencing exceed their ability to cope.  Often stress creeps up on us, it is one thing piled on top of another and often we don’t even recognise that it is stress and we just end up feeling ill or having very sharp tempers with others.