Release Anger Constructively

Ok, so sometimes the only way to deal with anger is to let it out….all of it. But how do you do that without causing damage to someone or something, or so as not to cause yourself embarrassment with the people around you? The first thing is to realise that this is your problem, noone elses, and you have to deal with it yourself in a healthy manner and a way that is fair to those around you!! You have to find constructive ways of releasing your emotions. There are a few ways you can do this so try them out and see which ways suit you best.

Work it off
Unleash your temper, rage, stress or general bad moods by running, cycling or whatever sport or physical activity you prefer. The trick here is to tire yourself out so all the negative thoughts and feelings disappear and you have a clear head to think and work things out.

Inanimate Objects can’t feel
When you are alone and still mad about something, take it out on an inanimate object….like a cushion, pillow or a boxing bag. NEVER on a living creature like your cat or dog and never get into your car and speed away, the risk of crashing is too big.

Say it in a Letter
Other non physical ways to let it out include writing it all down, say in a letter. Write out everything you feel and don’t hold back. You can type it or use a pen but make sure not to send it to anyone, this exercise is just for you. Keep the letter until you have calmed down and then read it again. This is a great way of learning about your angry outbursts as it is an actual record of how you were feeling and even what set you off. Chances are you’ll be a bit embarrased while reading back over it, but it just might give you a little more clarity on what happens when you are angry and give you ways to alter your behaviour. Afterwards, delete it or burn it as it’s served it’s purpose.

Talk positively to yourself
Stop letting the niggely little voice in your head continually go over annoyances/arguments that happen. This little voice will only re-affirm that you think something was unfair, unwarranted and that you were right to be angry. This will make your anger simmer and last much longer. Instead, change what that little voice is saying. Recognise that other people don’t intentionally set out to anger or upset us and that maybe they were feeling irritated and defensive too. Allow yourself to see the reality of what happened, from both your own and the other person’s point of view. Calm down and see if you can make up with the other person. If you did something wrong apologise. If they did something wrong, you can still try to make up. It’s surprising how feelings of anger can vanish once we have had a chance to calmly talk to the other person and forgive and forget.

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